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Lincoln Gets Loud
It was a normal day in my house. No one but me. I just got done watching vintage 1800's porn so then I decided to turn on the tv. A show called The Loud House was on. I watched it before, but I never watched it sober. I decided to watch an episode sober. It was called "Lincoln Gets Loud" the title card for the episode showed Linlcon and Luna with red eyes smiling at the fridge. The episode started with Lincoln talking to himself as usual. I don't know why he fucking does that. I think he's fucked in the head. He said "Why do I have white hair? Am I fucking 80?" I thought it was odd, but being a typical creepypasta dumbass, I just shrugged off the fact that he swore on a kids show. He kept talking about his white hair then walked down stairs. Lana and Lola were fighting and Lynn yelled "$50 ON THE CLOSETED LESBIAN!" Then Lana knocked out Lola and fisted her and gave Lynn $50. Then Lincoln overheard Luan telling racist jokes. "Luan! Knock it off! Clyde's coming over and I don't want him to hear about why the nigger crossed the road!" shouted Lincoln. "They're just jokes you white haired little freak. Besides, we got black people in our family tree. AND THEY"RE STILL HANGIN' THERE! Get it?" said Luan with her giant fucking squirrel teeth. "Okay that's actually pretty funny, but not around Clyde. His faggot parents will call Al Sharpton and that frog faced Jesse Jackson." said Lincoln with laughter. Then he wondered why he had white hair. He went to see Lisa about it. "Well it looks like you were just born with a white hue in your follecular area." said Lisa spitting. "First of all, stop spitting every time you talk. It's like fucking Niagra Falls. And speak normally, Lisa! Stop using science slangs and shit!" Lincoln said wiping spit out of his eye. "You were just born with white hair you fucking retard." Lisa said in her monotone voice, spitting. Lincoln wanted to kill himself. He paced around the house then he overheard Luna playing guitar she screamed "NOW I'M COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK!" So he decided to go to her for advice because she wanted to kill herself but then found the stairway to heaven, and played stairway to heaven on guitar. Luna said "Bro, you worry too much, You're a loud, so get loud." then she took a hit off of a bong and her eyes turned red. She started laughing really hard "Hahaha! You're hair man! It's fucking white!" Lincoln got pissed off and took the biggest hit out of a bong known to mankind. It went on for awhile. Luna just stared, stoned and amazed. Lincoln said "This is bullshit, I thought I was supposed to get high!" Then his eyes turned red and he started tripping balls. He laughed at everything his sisters said. "I think Lincoln's a zombie or something, his eyes are always red. Oh no, speaking of red my period just started." Said Leni. She was so fucking retarded, I wondered how she lived past the age of 5. Lincoln just stood there stoned with a smile wider than a whore's snatch. He laughed and said "Hahahaha! that dumb bitch." Then the episode ended. Then I took some shrooms and wacthed In Search of Sasquatch. Category:TrollPastas